Negative People

 Thank you all so much for your support and kind words of wisdom.  I know they love me- they just don't quit understand me.  They will just have to see it to believe it I guess. I felt better just getting it off my chest.  I am so ready for change and have so many things I have to do these next few weeks. I am so friggin' sensitive too- I have had to jump through a  lot of hoops to get this far.  Thanks for being there.

Brett

You may have to lay down some ground rules with them. Tell them that the next few weeks are stressful and you need their support. At one point I had to tell my husband that he could either support me or shut up. He decided to support me. I knew he was making the comments he was due to being scared for me, but they were. not. helping. When I let him know that, he stopped.

Sometimes you have to set boundaries with your family because they will do things to family they'd never to do a friend or an acquaintance.

Brett,

Most people do not like change.  People have a pecking order and they get very uncomfortable when that changes.  My sisters won't even talk with me now or see me because  I am now thinner than them,  I have lost freinds as I have lost weight also.  It is tough.   But these people will change or they won't.  I think they will be proud of you as you get thinner and healthyier.  If they don't then maybe you need to think about if you want these negative people in your life,  I made a decision recently that I choose to be happy, I choose not to be angry and I choose to be around people that I care and love about,  I take people for who they are and where they are,  I don't  let others control my feelings.  I fell great.!  I wish you the best.

Rhonda

I cannot tell you what to do, but for me I try to stay away from negative people.  Now I know this is your family, but you need to be around people who are positive.  This is YOUR journey, and YOU are the only one in charge of YOUR life and how successful it is.

Hang in there, most people are either uneducated about something or they are afraid.

Annabelle

There are so many emotions that run through the people we love and sometimes, fear, worry and just not knowing what can and will happen can cause those around us to say things that make us feel alone and unsupported.  I ran through all that with friends and family, but once they saw how committed I was to making a positive change in my life, they came around and are now my biggest supporters.  This is my wish for you.  Believe in yourself and what you are doing for yourself.  The rest will fall into place.  Good luck!

~Naomi

Their tune will change.  Just wait until you're 3 or 6 months out and you can proudly say, I'm doing it and I'm doing it for me!  Them liking it/agreeing will be a bonus.  So one foot forward, then the other and walk right into your new life.

Congratulations on your first big step!
---jan---

 You guys are great!  Who knew there were so many brilliant people on this board 

Wish me luck at my Psych Evaluation on Friday!!!

Brett

Most of the negative people are the ones that are the most uneducated about what you are about to have done.  Just let the family say what they want.  You know, as long as you are breathing, heavy or not, it's a positive thing you know, it would be much worse if you weren't breathing.  (just a little joke)  Anyway, you are doing this for you, not them, educate them on what they can expect, don't fall into their traps, my dad is still bringing home cookies and cakes and shoves them in my face.  Guess that is the way he says he loves me, but he is still quite proud of me.  SO hang tough, and things are going to be fine, just like someone else said, wait till you are losing weight and feeling so much better.

Good luck, Diane

 Oh man! I can relate to that!

I had my surgery in 2006. Four years before that, I was going to do it,,, my family  and friends were all super negative. I made my mother mad, father wouldnt talk to me, friends were like,, (gags) what are you thinking,, but then on the other hand, my mother would say really crude things about my weight, hurtful things that made me feel really bad. My mother was sick at the time and on some meds that made her different, but the words still hurt.

So flash forward 4 years later... my mother had passed away and I didnt say a word about me having the surgery to anyone but close friends whom this time around were way way much supportive.

Not telling my Dad and other negative people was the best thing for ME...I was bound and determined to change my life and get more healthy and be able to do the things I love.  

After I had the surgery, it was about 3 months later i told my father, and he couldnt have been more happy about it,, especially when he seen the results 3 months out.

I believe our families truly want what is best for us but sometimes they are too comfortable with us and tend to say things that come off way different than they mean it to.
Another thing is most other people like say the ones in my family and my friends, just were not educated about WLS like we are,, or are supposed to be anyway, by the time we decide to have this surgery.

At any rate, good luck and take it easy. You know what is best for you and dont let neg comments hurt you or get in your way. 

Marie

I totally understand what you are saying OMG!! My family use to be sooooo hard on me because of my weight. Then after surgery I see how different they treat me because I am thinner. It really makes me mad, it was as if because I was heavy I was dumb and helpless. PLEASE! My father still insists that I am different now, come on....I dont understand, and often feel overwelmed by the difference in the way people treat me. Hit me up on my page if you need to talk.